Episode 3: Cultural Identity and the Hawaiian Diaspora – We Are All One Lāhui!

In this podcast episode from the ʻOhana Center of Excellence for AANHPI Behavioral Health, project manager Lilinoe Kauahikaua interviews Ipo, founder and creator of the Hawaiian Diaspora Instagram account. The conversation dives into Ipo’s personal journey of reclaiming her Hawaiian identity and her experiences as a Native Hawaiian raised in the continental US after moving from Oʻahu to San Diego at a young age.

Ipo shares how her mother’s efforts to keep their cultural connection alive helped shape her identity despite the challenges of living away from Hawaiʻi. She discusses the broader struggles faced by the Hawaiian diaspora (Native Hawaiians living away from their birth sands of Hawaiʻi), emphasizing the distinction between “diaspora” and “displaced” individuals. Ipo highlights the importance of creating safe spaces for discussions about identity, cultural connection, and the diverse experiences of Native Hawaiians living away from their homeland.

Throughout this conversation, Lilinoe and Ipo explore the mental health impacts of feeling disconnected from one’s culture and the mixed emotions of pride and isolation experienced by many in the diaspora. They touch on the significance of representation and understanding the unique needs of different generations within the Native Hawaiian community on the continent.

The episode underscores the need for more data and storytelling to capture the varied narratives of diaspora Hawaiians and foster a sense of belonging, togetherness, and cultural pride among those living away from Hawaii. We are all one Lāhui!

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[0:00] We’re all on the same page. We want the same thing. There is no us versus them. And when there is the feeling of that or when you have been feeling like you’re shamed or guilt or, you know, another kind of wahine is making you feel bad, that’s not good, first of all. And nobody should be doing that. That’s not okay. We are all needing to work together against all of the common enemy, right? And, like, the trauma that, like, we inherited. All of this, like, stuff, like, does not belong to us. That that’s something that has happened to us and that we’re still dealing with and unfortunately like has pitted us against each other some sometimes not always but in certain spaces otherwise we wouldn’t we wouldn’t have to have this question and topic of have you ever felt misunderstood.

 

[0:42] Join us as we explore the hidden histories of Asian American, Native Hawaiian and Pacific Islander people. Together, we hope to provide healing and strengthen cultural pride—this is Roots Reclaimed.

 

[0:59] Aloha mai kakou. In this podcast episode of Roots Reclaimed from the ‘Ohana Center of Excellence for Asian American, Native Hawaiian, and Pacific Islander behavioral health, I interview Ipo, the founder and creator of the Hawaiian Diaspora Instagram page. Our conversation delves into Ipo’s personal journey of reclaiming her kānaka maoli, or Native Hawaiian identity, and her experiences as a Native Hawaiian raised in the continental U.S after moving from O‘ahu to San Diego early on in her life. Ipo shares how her mother’s efforts to keep their cultural connection alive helped shape her identity despite the challenges of living away from Hawai‘i. She also discusses the broader struggles faced by the Hawaiian diaspora, our Kānaka Maoli, who are living away from their birth sands of Hawai‘i, and helps us to understand the distinction between diaspora and displaced kānaka.

 

[1:51] Aloha nui kakou. My name is Lilinoe Kauahikaua, and I serve as the project manager for the ‘Ohana Center of Excellence for Asian American, Native Hawaiian, and Pacific Islander behavioral health. And I’m joined this morning by Ipo, founder of Eō and creator of the Hawaiian Diaspora account on Instagram. Aloha nui Ipo.

 

[2:11] Aloha Lilinoe, thank you for having me.

 

[2:14] Yeah, mahalo for joining us today. I was really excited to speak with you. And I just kind of wanted to give you a moment to share a little bit about yourself, a little bit about your Hawaiian Diaspora account, and really what’s called you to this work.

 

[2:29] Yeah, sure. So first, again, thank you for having me on the space. The work that you do is awesome. And so it’s really a privilege to be able to talk to you about all this stuff. Yeah, I’m trying to find a shorter version to explain it. But so my name, my given name is actually Shannon, but I’ve been on a journey of reclaiming my Inoa Hawaii. So I do go by Ipo these days, short for Ku’u Ipo I Ka He’e Pu’e One, one of my favorite Hawaiian songs

 

[2:56] And so just the fact that I’m using my Hawaii Inoa is also part of the larger journey that I’ve been on as Diaspora Kānaka. So I was born on Oʻahu, but moved over to San Diego when I was about six years old. I think on day one that we moved to San Diego, my mom’s mission was to find us community, find us a hālau, and try to raise us as close to culture as we could, because she didn’t particularly want to leave Hawaiʻi. So I was lucky enough and privileged enough to be able to grow up in a community where I had Native Hawaiian access to Native Hawaiian communities and people and to learning some of the culture and traditions. But even still, I dealt with a lot of and continue to deal with a lot of identity struggle.

 

[3:46] And, you know, the whole bag that comes with being mixed and especially in the Hawaiian diaspora and being mixed Native Hawaiian. So years I was struggling with it, couldn’t really find the words to express how I felt or how to address it. So a lot of the time I kind of was reluctant in really digging deeper, but it wasn’t until I started moving around the continent, getting different jobs where either I was in a place that didn’t have access to other Hawaiians or was meeting other kinds of diaspora Hawaiians who had different experiences from me, where I started to realize there were a lot of similarities but differences in the Native Hawaiian diaspora experience that I think are important to address. That led me to have some big ideas about some goals that I really want to pursue that are going to benefit our diaspora kanaka, which led me to creating this account called the Hawaiian Diaspora, where we have these psychologically safe and respectful conversations about anything and everything that has to touch on the Native of Hawaiian diaspora. So that was a little bit of a mouthful, but kind of like the snippet of the work that I’ve been doing. Mahalo nui. I think…

 

[5:00] I was particularly excited to have you on and wanted to have you as a guest on our podcast because so much of your experience really resonates with me, you know, having grown up like half of my life on the continent as well and moving back home to Hawaiʻi after being gone and growing up, you know, for so long on the continent. It was a difficult transition and reclaiming my culture and reconnecting to all of those things. And so I appreciate so much that you’ve really, you know, that a lot of your work really centers around uplifting and giving space for the voices of our kanaka on the continent now that we have so many that find themselves,

 

[5:41] You know, we have more Native Hawaiians living on the continent now than in Hawaiʻi.

 

[5:46] And we want to make sure that, you know, we can create any kind of pathways and uplift their experiences and what they’re feeling. So I really appreciate the work that you do and I think it’s been so interesting to hear all of the responses, to see all the responses reflected and see everyone feeling so safe to be able to share their experiences that, you know, throughout the generations, generations that have moved away, generations that are born on the continent and, you know, what does that look like? How do those experiences differ?

 

[6:15] So I kind of wanted to see if you wouldn’t mind sharing a little bit about how some of those experiences do differ between those generations and the differing needs of these of our kānaka communities in relation to their desire to or their access to be able to connect culturally or connect to ʻāina.

 

[6:38] I know that’s such a good question it’s a loaded question honestly and we wouldn’t ever have enough time to go over it and so you know the first thing I want to say is I don’t consider myself the representation of all diaspora, of course. So although I have this account and I’m trying to do this work to help uplift others, I don’t want to give the impression that I am the example or trying to represent diaspora because there are so many different experiences within that. And to that point, I also find it important the way that I go about this work is to make a distinction between the term diaspora and displaced.

 

[7:19] Diaspora is kind of a buzzword that we have been using a lot lately in the last year or so, I would say has started to pick up traction. And it makes sense because like that the definition can appeal to whether or not your experience was diaspora, or if you were displaced. So really, it’s anybody who lives away from their homeland. But I think particularly when we talk about Native Hawaiians, the continent moving away from Hawaiʻi, we should make that distinction between diaspora and displaced generally I chalk that up to.

 

[7:50] I think of diaspora as those who were exclusively raised away from Hawaiʻi, which most likely is on the continent. And then I think of displaced as anybody, any Native Hawaiians who had to make the action of moving away from Hawaiʻi. And of course, there is a whole range of complexity in between that. But that in and of itself is such an interesting term and a word, a label that we have been using to define or, you know, for kānaka to identify with.

 

[8:20] It was actually the first thing that I started to come across when I started talking about diaspora and using that term, because in my mind, I was trying to find our diaspora-raised kānaka, but I also was starting to gain traction and a following from who I would consider more displaced. So that can be an example of moving away, because obviously, the housing crisis in Hawaiʻi, cost of living, those are kind of the obvious examples. But there are other experiences too. There are those who went to the continent for school and ended up staying there. There are those who married non-Hawaiians whose families were on the continent, and it was an opportunity for them to live their life there. There are other examples too of those that I would consider displaced.

 

[9:09] But particularly when I talk about diaspora, I’m thinking of those like maybe in my situation, who moved who were born in Hawaiʻi and then as children moved over to the diaspora and exclusively raised there there are those who were born on the continent um and raised exclusively on the continent and between those two backgrounds uh there’s a variation in those who have traveled back to Hawaiʻi on the summers to see their family um or for whatever reason but then there are those who were born and raised on the diaspora who have never stepped foot on the ʻāina and even even there there is a whole range of those who had access to culture and who didn’t have access to culture there are Hawaiian diaspora uh folks who don’t even like know a Hawaiian person or have barely met any so within that whole plethora of examples there’s just so so many lived experiences that are important to address. And honestly, I don’t think we’ve talked a whole lot about it before as a community.

 

[10:15] Part of the work that I have been hoping to do is to actually capture all of these narratives, all the different kind of experiences and backgrounds of those who identify under the umbrella of diaspora. Because we don’t have any, at least I haven’t seen, any hard data, any narrative storytelling information around where these people are, what their experiences are, why their experiences came to be, and then just like everything around that as it pertains to their connection to the culture. So it’s a loaded question. There’s so much we don’t know about it, but that means that there’s a lot of opportunity to learn.

 

[10:59] You’re right. I don’t think I’ve seen much data on those unique experiences at all. And I think a lot of the Native Hawaiians being a large population that our center focuses on, particularly in behavioral health, how do you see some of these experiences and impacting folks’ overall mental health and overall wellness? You see that a lot in what folks are sharing with you?

 

[11:24] Oh yeah, for sure. I mean, when we talk about things like cultural connection, it’s a part of who we are, right? And how we’re made up. And the folks that I have talked to, I can relate deeply on an emotional level of how this impacted my mental health. For example, I was always proud of being Hawaiian, right? Because I think all of us are proud or want to be proud of being Hawaiian. It was instilled in me when I was really little. But you know, my interaction with the rest of the world was not always that way. I mean, the way I look, the way I speak, my experiences, the things I know or I don’t know. The way that the world was interacting with me made me feel like I’m not Hawaiian enough. We hear that a lot.

 

[12:09] And I’ve heard that a lot from other folks. Or you’re not really allowed to claim yourself as Hawaiian in whatever way that might be. So at least for me I found that to be confusing first of all because I have such a love and a pride in being Hawaiian and I want to share that with others I want to live my life that way but I’m being told through Hawaiians non-Hawaiians um that there’s not a space for me and when you feel like you’re not enough and you’re lacking you know this this feeling of being totally and wholly embraced by your community, that’s going to have an effect on your mental health. I mean, of course, because it’s the identity that you relate to, or you want to relate to, and it’s a sense of belonging, and everything that that falls under that, which is so good for your mental health to feel like you belong to your community, that they accept you that you are giving back to your community and helping to be a part of contributing to it. So although that’s an example of mine, I have met plenty of folks who can totally, totally relate to that. Yeah, that makes sense. And it makes sense. Just hearing a little bit about your story, being raised in an area that you were able to connect to other Hawaiian folks and be able to connect culturally, even in the community that you’re being raised in, in California.

 

[13:33] Myself being raised in a different part of California, there were no other Hawaiians in that area. It was very isolating. And so I would imagine across the U.S. There’s these differing experiences and being able to connect and learn about, you know, your your own self like where where do i come from where do I fit and I remember uh being teased a lot when i was younger as well and having um different experiences about um you know my what my name about my name and how long it was being called names and different things like that you know i mean it’s always a struggle having to fit your your name into that tiny little box when you’re younger. I’m sorry. Do you know how many letters are in my name? But, it’s so true. Even high school graduation. I mean, for me was actually I had a situation, even having a lot of Islanders in the high school that I went to, and it was common for the announcers to, to, to try everybody’s full name when they were graduating.

 

[14:32] I got a no, they told me no, they weren’t going to try.

 

[14:36] And I was like, even if i spell it out phonetically and they’re like no in the end I like really persisted and they end up trying and they butchered it like I thought they would but the point is that it matters and like representation matters so but exactly that’s I mean it’s a little things like that the little things I had a professor um at one of the colleges that i attended that just used to call me the hawaiian it’s like oh you know and i wanted to have pride in that at the same time not realizing that you know that’s problematic yeah you know but yeah so I just wanted to maybe we could go over a few of the social media posts that you’ve done recently because I know a lot of them have gotten a lot of traction lately could you remind me a little bit about one of the the prompts I know I felt pretty resonated there was one prompt in particular I think it was something about what is a question that makes you feel some type of way Yes. I recently posted a question in my stories that was asking if diaspora-raised Hawaiians have ever felt misunderstood by a Hawai’i-born and raised Hawaiian. And I had my theories about what was going to come up in that conversation.

 

[15:54] But I’ve gotten a lot of response, a lot of strong responses, which is great. And I accept it, I want that, I encourage that. It was a really big topic that I think.

 

[16:06] Takes a lot more than obviously just a question posed on the stories of Instagram to dive into. But I can tell you, some of my assumptions did come up. So I had a theory, I have a theory that a lot of diaspora raised Hawaiians have felt misunderstood by those who are born and raised in Hawaiʻi. There’s a lot of variations about what that looks like, but essentially feeling some sort of shameful, guilty, those who have made to feel like Hawaiians were condescending to them.

 

[16:41] Different variations of that. And I want to make clear, though, that it’s not implied to cause a divisiveness between diaspora-raised and Hawaii-raised. That’s not at all what that’s intended to do.

 

[16:56] It’s to validate the experiences of diaspora-raised Hawaiians who have felt this way because I know I I that’s happened to me plenty of times and I wasn’t sure actually if that was isolated to me or to others until I started asking other diaspora raised Hawaiians and I heard a common theme yes that’s happened to me too so I posed the question to put it out there into the ether into the internet to ask other diaspora Hawaiians is this your experience too and so the majority of them said yes this hat that has happened to me um i got a couple of responses saying no that never happened to me which was actually really refreshing and great to hear and then I got some responses that explains that obviously it’s much more complicated than that right that we that uh Hawaiʻi raised Hawaiians are not targeting continental Hawaiians or diasporas Hawaiians which of course like absolutely and why if and when that does come up there is a greater reason for it so my fingers are kind of cramping by the end of the weekend because I was trying to get to everybody who responded and I’m still trying to go through it but it’s it’s such a loaded conversation.

 

[18:11] Yeah I would imagine so um I think, speaking for myself, that raised a lot for me, too. And the experiences probably that other Native Hawaiians also have, if they do move back to Hawai’i, like myself.

 

[18:26] And trying to explain those experiences to folks that were born and raised here. I was born, I live in Hawai’i now. I was born here, but I lived, you know, on the continent for most of my early youth and growing up. Although I came back and forth to Hawaii in the summers every year, but still that was a very different experience than a lot of other folks that were born and raised here their entire lives. And just explaining, you know, what that looks like for my own experiences has always been interesting. And that a simple question like, where did you go to school? Or like, you know, where are you from? Is not a simple question for many kānaka that are raised on the continent. It’s not that simple. It’s like, I have a whole moʻolelo for you. Do you have some time? I’m going to give you my whole origin story right now.

 

[19:21] So, yeah, like, you know, I can imagine that that probably elicited a lot of really a good amount of responses. And I think one of the coolest things that I saw while looking through different responses on your Instagram page is just the overwhelming voice of folks that are saying, oh, I didn’t realize I wasn’t alone. Like, I thought I was alone, the only one that was experiencing these types of issues. And really like it’s, you know, while all of our, all of folks experiences throughout the continent is different, it’s still, there are a lot of similarities, and it feels not as isolating to know that you’re not alone. And so that’s, I think a really vital aspect of what you bring to the table here. So I’m really glad that you started this page.

 

[20:11] I was gonna say mahalo for that. I really appreciate that. And you know, I struggled myself with whether or not I was going to start that account. You know, am I the right person to do it? I worry about putting myself out there. Because for somebody, I’m a lot stronger in my cultural identity right now, I’m still working through it. But even with the vulnerability that I have, I really asked myself, am I do I really want to put myself out there because I’m exposing myself to all of these things that I have heard in my experiences, like on a larger platform. And you know, and I it’s hard, it’s hard. And so like, Like I’m worried about like people telling me that I don’t have any ground to stand on that, you know, what if they say I’m not Hawaiian, blah, blah, blah. So just that vulnerability is really difficult.

 

[20:56] But, I when I get those responses that say like a sigh of relief, you know, like I’m finding other people who have had similar experiences, like thanks for having these conversations. Like it makes it all worth it because I mean, that’s what we need to do. We haven’t outright talked about this. And this is the biggest reason why I’m really pushing for these conversations is because I hear trending sentiments among other diaspora Hawaiians. That’s like, I didn’t have anybody to talk to about this. I don’t see anybody else talking about this. And even like from my own experiences, I’ve tried asking these questions to, you know, folks in our community outright asking, can I call myself Hawaiian? Of course, like I have koko. And if you have koko, that’s what matters.

 

[21:44] But even on the basic level of can I call myself one? Should I refer to myself as hapa? You know, all kinds of questions in between. And I never got solid replies back. And I get it because there are reasons for why we ask and answer questions the way we do cultural reasons for that. And I do understand that. But for a lot of us who are really seeking this, you know, this deeper connection by our lāhui, we need to have this conversation and actually get some forthright answers. And I was really missing that. And when I talked to others, it sounded like the same was for them. So these are the kinds of topics that we really have been missing and addressing.

 

[22:28] Yeah, no mahalo. And I think your page also helped me kind of to reevaluate the way that I’ve been approaching some of my work as well, because I think some of your posts that talk about. You’re just asking, what does things like Merry Monarch, how does that impact you as a Hawaiian of the diaspora and other cultural practices? And I realized that because I moved home to Hawaii late, I’ve been here 15 years now back home, but I fought so hard to reclaim my cultural identity that I didn’t realize I was maybe potentially making folks on the continent feeling othered or less than. And, you know, that would never be my intention because I felt this that way myself. And then I realized like, OK, well, I have to reevaluate like the way that I’m messaging some of the trainings and the cultural healing avenues that I’m that, you know, we want to make available to kānaka on the continent. But making sure that the messaging doesn’t doesn’t impose any sort of like othering, you know, basically, because that’s never the intention. And, you know, people find themselves on the continent for many different reasons, as you mentioned. And I think the main thing is the togetherness. Like we’re all together. We’re all one lāhui. No matter where you are, we’re all one lāhui. So how do we maintain that connection? How do we keep uplifting each other’s experiences and also work towards meaningful healing together in that same way?

 

[23:58] Exactly. I mean, we’re all on the same page. We want the same thing. There is no us versus them. And when there is the feeling of that, or when you have been feeling like you’re shamed or guilt or, you know, another kind of whine is making you feel bad. That’s not good, first of all, and nobody should be doing that. That’s not okay. At the same time and this is part of the the topic that was addressed on my stories about, being feeling misunderstood by Hawaii raised Hawaiians.

 

[24:25] So we’re we’re all needing to work together against all the common enemy right and like the trauma that like we inherited. All of this like stuff like does not belong to us but that’s something that has happened to us and that we’re still dealing with and unfortunately like has pitted us against each other some sometimes not always but in certain spaces otherwise we wouldn’t we wouldn’t have to have this question and topic of have you ever felt misunderstood.

 

[24:53] Again it’s not a matter of like us versus them we all want the same thing we all love to be Hawaiian we all have ancestors that we want to feel deeper connected to we have this um huge sense of aloha ʻāina like we like we’re all I’m like getting chicken skin as I say this and emotional because like that’s what this is all about and when we let all these other things like get in the way like it’s only driving us apart and now you know like and now as you mentioned at the top of the episode that there is a reporting. The census has reported recently that there are more Hawaiians living on the continent or away from Hawaii than in Hawaiʻi. That’s scary stuff. And this is why we’re finally addressing these topics, which is fine, like better late than never.

 

[25:43] But because like, what does that mean for the future of Hawaiians, but also for Hawaii itself? Because if Hawaiians keep moving away and raising their families on the continent for example this is only going to further more generations. Like we can look at the examples of what’s happening now and what’s been happening for the last three or four generations and then use that as an example of what’s gonna happen moving forward. And if there is already if people are already saying I feel disconnected I grew up from Hawaii and I don’t like feel Hawaiian or you you know, like I want to, but I can’t, then what’s that going to mean if it keeps happening and happening?

 

[26:21] It’s going to be this inherited sense of disconnection. And then who’s going to move back? And like, what is a Hawaiʻi without Hawaiians? And that’s why it’s like super important that we address these for mental health, because all Hawaiians deserve to have a thriving mental health life and feel connection to culture. That’s number one. But number two, because the hope is is that we do have Hawaiians who returned to ʻāina. Whether or not you were born and raised in Hawai’i doesn’t matter. But when we talk about it in the context of diaspora, that’s why we talk about this kind of stuff.

 

[26:54] So when you say that you finally moved back to Hawai’i. Just you I really hope that you feel accomplished and celebrated in doing that because it’s such such such a big deal. And I hope you’re telling your story and sharing that with as many Hawaiians as possible because they need to know it’s possible. And it is what people are doing it. And it’s not easy, I’m sure. And I know I’m sure it is a whole new journey once you actually get to Hawaiʻi. And I’ve heard this from other diaspora who made their way back to Hawaiʻi. But this topic and this conversation about diaspora doesn’t just stop there, right? As we’re starting to touch on, it touches on, am I Hawaiian enough? It touches, can I return to ʻāina? How do I do that? How will I be accepted if I do? And everything that’s in between. So I just get really passionate about that because it’s the conversation that we all deserve so that we can work together to protect and thrive in Hawaii. Because if we don’t, then it’s a Hawaii without Hawaiians, and nobody wants that.

 

[28:00] Are there any other of your posts that you want to kind of talk about a little bit or bring to light, or any of your next steps that you’d like to share a little bit with us?

 

[28:10] Sure. Well, you did mention, you touched on the post about Merry Monarch, and that’s really important because you also touched on the topic of feeling othered, which can apply to both diaspora or Hawaiians within Hawaii too, right? It’s just that in Hawaiʻi, you have more access to Hawaiian traditions. Yeah, so access to traditions is really difficult for people on the continent or culture in general. I actually, so I did recently, I posted a what, where, and why about my account and giving more intentionality to share like where this all came from and what I plan to do with it.

 

[28:49] And in in that post I talk a little bit about how I have this fond memory of going to expirations from the Kamehameha school when I was a kid as a lot of us did and it was such a grounding experience for me loved it obviously and it always stuck around in my naʻau because when I really feel like giving up I just think about back to like how that was such a fulfilling and an enriching time in my life that grounded me in our culture. But so many of us didn’t have access to going to that program. I mean, if you’re in Hawaiʻi, you might have had maybe more access to it. But obviously, if you’re on the diaspora, you have to, who can afford that? So a lot of diaspora-raised.

 

[29:37] Um didn’t have that grounding as a keiki first of all and then depending on where they live didn’t have or don’t have access to other Hawaiians firstly which means like maybe no access to a hālau or you know language class or anything like that that’s a that’s a huge thing that i think we’re just starting to talk a little bit more about now. But, within the last few years we We have social media and we have, you know, the Internet and we have more access to things, which is great. And we should continue doing that. And I obviously encourage all Hawaiians to to take advantage of that. But even still, that’s not so that’s not so simple. Right. I mean, take ʻōlelo as an example. And this is a topic that I want to get to onto the account soon because it’s an important one.

 

[30:27] So we have more access to learning ʻōlelo now online than we ever did before. And that’s huge. And that’s great. Some might make the argument that if you have the ability to access it, that there’s no excuse. And that you can.

 

[30:44] I know, I like your. Makes me laugh because, yes, I’ve heard that. Exactly. And I’ve heard that from other Hawaiians too, particularly those in the diaspora, that there’s a sense of like, you have access, you know, use it. Yes. And there are a lot more reasons as to why that makes that not so easy to do. And I make the argument that the connection to culture and how your identity plays into that is like one big reason why. If I don’t feel Hawaiian enough, you know, or whatever, I may not, you know, fully jump in, into the waters to learn ʻōlelo. Like, firstly, can I afford it? Some of these classes do charge, some of them don’t. But maybe I don’t have the time. Maybe that’s hard to work out.

 

[31:35] So in order for me to put myself out on the line to create the space, time, effort, money, whatever it is, to try to learn something like ʻōlelo, like I, I need to be in a place mental health wise, where I feel confident in doing that I feel empowered in doing that I have a solid reason why. But if I’m struggling with it, it’s going to be so easy to fall apart. Because I might start and then, you know, I’m not consistent or whatever, I’m feeling shamed about the way I’m pronouncing things or mispronouncing things with that that did actually happen to me at explorations. And auntie slapped my hand and told me that, um, I was mispronouncing words and how disrespectful that was.

 

[32:19] And although, although I do understand where she’s coming from, that’s not the right way to go about it, right? Because then I’m feeling shame for so many years and I don’t even want to try. If I’m on a shaky ground about wanting to continue pursuing, it’s not sustainable. It only takes a couple of things and instances for like all of that to come crumbling down. Then I’m going to retreat and kind of feel like that’s when I start saying things. And I use this as an example of what I’ve heard from other people, but that’s when I start saying things like I may not call myself Hawaiian or even kānaka. That’s a whole other thing, right? I may not say Hawaiian. I may say part Hawaiian. I may say of Hawaiian descent.

 

[33:00] I might say my grandma is Hawaiian. So you see this actually like separation psychologically from the culture because you feel so insecure about it. And if you don’t feel like confident or empowered or, you know, have a solid ground to stand on, you’re not going to actually like fully use the privileges and the access to resources if they’re available. So that’s kind of going off on a tangent, but it’s so important for us to talk about how, yes, like there are cultural things that we should, and I encourage everybody to learn if you can, but there’s some other work that we have to do too so that once we do approach these resources it sticks around for a long time.

 

[33:42] And important to note that it doesn’t have to be certain kinds of things right like you’re not only Hawaiian if you dance hula you’re not only Hawaiian if you speak ʻōlelo or if you ʻōlelo.

 

[33:53] There are so many other ways that you can contribute to the to the lāhui and it’s just because of the the things that we see in the media or you know that represent what it is to to be Hawaiian that we think like, that’s what it has to be. But as everything else is such a loaded conversation, but I just wanted to make sure that I address that because that’s something that also I feel really passionate about.

 

[34:16] No, I agree. And I laugh. I laugh because, yeah, I’ve been struggling to learn ‘olelo Hawaiʻi for all the 15 years that I have been back in Hawaiʻi. And very early on, it was so difficult because I didn’t understand what a Hawaiian perspective was. And that’s what I think a lot of my kumu, a lot of my teachers were trying to explain to me that I could try to memorize the words. I could try to memorize sentence patterns but the deeper meanings and the deeper understandings of ʻōlelo Hawaiʻi I couldn’t understand because I didn’t know what a Hawaiian perspective was because I didn’t grow up here and I was always like well where’s that at like where where do I read that at and that’s it’s not something you can read so how do we expect you know a kānaka you know that is not raised here in Hawaiʻi. How do we create spaces that we can all connect in a meaningful way and understand what this perspective is and get back to the root of that really?

 

[35:20] Oh, that’s, you know what, that is such a good point, Lillinoe. Like I’m just like in my seat, just like rocking back and forth, because this is also a sentiment that I was getting in my DMs as a response to the question about feeling misunderstood about Hawaiʻi raised Hawaiians.

 

[35:36] It’s exactly that point. How do you know you don’t know what you don’t know right so like if you are raised in diaspora depending on the community that you had access to you don’t know like you said how to approach things from a Hawaiian perspective. What even is that? How do how do i know that that’s something that i should be doing? That showed up in my DMs because actually all from other kānaka who were raised in diaspora and also moved to Hawaiʻi they were all saying the same thing which is that I didn’t know how to do that. And it took me a while to figure it out. And so like, that’s something that I think we should talk about, obviously, most most likely online for those who don’t know, they probably don’t have access to like, kūpuna or other Hawaiians who can share that with them. So this is something that once you have these lived experiences, you should share that and talk about it with other people because they’re they need to know that because it is important to know.

 

[36:34] Somebody explained this to me in my DMs the way she put it was really eloquent so I may not regurgitate it as nicely but essentially she was saying that. If you are exclusively raised in the diaspora, just naturally, you’re going to approach things from a Western idea, right? And that makes a lot of sense. So it’s going to take a lot to unpack that. And part of some of that means that you might have a little sense of expectation or entitlement. Maybe you don’t, but maybe you do. And unintentionally, right? I’m not saying you’re coming in like guns a blazing saying like, you owe me, like having to teach me about the culture, It shows up in subtle ways.

 

[37:14] So you have to learn how to how to show your intention and your eagerness and wanting to learn respectfully, you know, quietly in ways that, you know, support like more of a Hawaiian perspective and not just ask, like, give, give, give me, give me. But what are you doing to to really um to really try on your own in a respectful in a respectful way that’s grounded in our our values and that obviously that’s so you can’t teach that that’s something that you might learn through you know immersively being in Hawaiʻi or through other Hawaiian people and I don’t there’s not like a solution to that it’s just something that like I really want other diaspora Hawaiians to hear. You might because i felt like this also I have struggled with this feeling like, hoo-hoo about it because my uncle actually is a ʻōlelo professor.

 

[38:07] And I remember like growing up kind of feeling like, like he’s not teaching me, you know? Like he goes out, he teaches other people. Some of them are non-Hawaiians and like, but like we’re his family. Like, why isn’t he teaching me? And it took me years to realize like that’s not how you approach it. Like you want to learn, like try to find resources. Obviously it was hard, especially back then if you can’t you know try to do other things and try to like approach it more mindfully and intentionally and not with the mindset of like I you owe this to me but why do you want to learn in the first place and how is that going to give you a deeper connection to your kūpuna and to um and to Hawaiʻi so that’s a really big one that I want our diaspora to let sink in. Yeah.

 

[38:57] Mahalo. Mahalo. Mahalo Nui for speaking with us today. This is awesome. I could talk to you forever. I just want to be able to take some time to let folks know where they can find more information out about what you’re doing on IG and any future stuff you got planned. Yeah, just where they can find you.

 

[39:19] Awesome. Mahalo, Lilinoe. I have loved our conversation. Like I said, I could talk all day about it. So right now, the only place you can find these conversations through the Hawaiian Diaspora name is on Instagram at @HawaiianDiaspora. I am in the works of launching my website and other forms of social media. But right now, that is the anchor to all of those conversations. Conversations and what people can expect is I have a post on there that’s pinned that explains more about what I’m looking to do in the future but one of the biggest pieces I have on my list next is to start digging into the research behind Hawaiian diaspora like where are we who are we what our experience is so that we can have that data to share with the community so it can help us have these conversations.

 

[40:05] But also because I’m hoping to eventually, big ultimate goal, the dream, is to launch an immersive program in Hawai’i, not unlike Kamehameha Explorations for adults, and particularly those who were raised in the diaspora, at least phase one, so that they can feel more connected to the culture and meet other Hawaiians if they don’t, or feel more connected did um and really ground themselves deeper into the lāhui um with the hopes that they take that back to them on the continent and and lead with aloha and everything they do um and then ultimately return to ʻāina that’s the biggest goal. Uh so those are kind of the biggest things that I have and then there’s some uh in between that awesome mahalo nui.

 

[40:51] Yes please go check out the page and follow her, and awesome. Mahalo nui for sharing all of your ʻike and your experiences, and mahalo for the work that you do for our lāhui and uplifting collective voices and healing. Mahalo. Mahalo nui.

 

[41:09] Roots Reclaimed is a production of the AANHPI ʻOhana Center of Excellence, a culturally-centered behavioral health resource center aimed to empower Asian American, Native Hawaiian, and Pacific Islander communities. To get access to resources, referrals, trainings, workshops, and so much more, visit us at aanhpi-ohana.org.

 

[41:34] Mahalo.

 

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